Good morning Team & Happy...Saturday?
Welcome to the weekend!! Yes I know, I obviously ruined your Fridays for my little Faux Pas...hopefully over the course of the next dozen paragraphs I can make it up to you. I'd tell you I won't do it again, but we all know that's probably a lie and I'm sure I'll disappoint you all again for many years to come (at some point or another). To make up for it this edition is a bit longer than normal.. So I guess, sorry for that too. Damn, I can't win with you people.
Well now that the week is now officially yesterday's news and it's time kick back, relax and claim yourself some much deserved R&R! Or not, it's your day! From what I understand, it can be exhausting getting back to work after a long holiday weekend so I'm glad you all made it. For some reason I haven't had a problem adjusting. Maybe it's my continuously optimistic "can-do-attitude" that helps...or maybe its my "lack of employment" or the absence of "any responsibility a legitimate adult faces"...who knows. It's one of life's great mysteries that we may never actually figure out.
Moving on, it's officially December and I think we all know what that means...It's time to get all Jolly and celebrate the reason of the Season - the new Star Wars!! Oh, and it's Christmahanakwanzika Season too (and Festivus if you are of the same faith as me, Tacy & Sins). I'll try to work in a bit of the holiday spirit without overdoing it, but be prepared - Christmas Meme's are coming!!
Alright, I've stalled long enough - I'll get to what you came for... Time to get to the news! Thanks in advance for your time and I hope you enjoy! And sorry again for just getting this out now. I've been busy herding Drunken Degenerates all night in New York on a Bachelor Party with my old Duval Crew...going to be a long weekend...
Welcome to the weekend!! Yes I know, I obviously ruined your Fridays for my little Faux Pas...hopefully over the course of the next dozen paragraphs I can make it up to you. I'd tell you I won't do it again, but we all know that's probably a lie and I'm sure I'll disappoint you all again for many years to come (at some point or another). To make up for it this edition is a bit longer than normal.. So I guess, sorry for that too. Damn, I can't win with you people.
Well now that the week is now officially yesterday's news and it's time kick back, relax and claim yourself some much deserved R&R! Or not, it's your day! From what I understand, it can be exhausting getting back to work after a long holiday weekend so I'm glad you all made it. For some reason I haven't had a problem adjusting. Maybe it's my continuously optimistic "can-do-attitude" that helps...or maybe its my "lack of employment" or the absence of "any responsibility a legitimate adult faces"...who knows. It's one of life's great mysteries that we may never actually figure out.
Moving on, it's officially December and I think we all know what that means...It's time to get all Jolly and celebrate the reason of the Season - the new Star Wars!! Oh, and it's Christmahanakwanzika Season too (and Festivus if you are of the same faith as me, Tacy & Sins). I'll try to work in a bit of the holiday spirit without overdoing it, but be prepared - Christmas Meme's are coming!!
Alright, I've stalled long enough - I'll get to what you came for... Time to get to the news! Thanks in advance for your time and I hope you enjoy! And sorry again for just getting this out now. I've been busy herding Drunken Degenerates all night in New York on a Bachelor Party with my old Duval Crew...going to be a long weekend...
SPORTS
NCAA -
It's often said that all good things must come to an end. And sadly, it's so frequently true. As much as I've tried to pretend it wouldn't, the 2015 College Football Season is almost at a close. Yes, with just like that the regular season has finished, and all that's left are Conference Championships, a bunch of Toilet Bowl Games and then of course the big College Playoffs for the National Championship. It's ok to cry, I'm sad too. Especially since our beloved Florida State Seminoles will NOT be playing this weekend in the ACC Championship game. But at least we ended on a very high note. Yes Rivalry week was very good to us...and not so bad for a couple other teams either. So before I get into what's next, here's a quick recap in case you weren't paying attention:
Georgia/ GA Tech - In the fight for his career and legacy, Richt's Bulldogs stepped up to the occasion and did what FSU couldn't...They beat the Nerds. It was a sleeper of a game...not in the sense that no one saw it coming, but in the fact that I dosed off in the 1st quarter. It was a very uneventful, uninspiring 13-7 Victory for the Dawgs that was much needed, but not sadly enough. Richt was fired the next day, sparking and outcry of support for the Coach, as well as a lot of confusion and rage by many - which seems odd considering since I moved to Atlanta over 8 years ago, there has been talk for firing Richt every season and now the fans are suddenly shocked and appalled.
In my opinion, both Richt and the Dawgs needed this clean break and a deserve a fresh new start. For Georgia, it looks like it will be the highly reccommended Saban protege Kirby Smart - which could go one of two ways. The great way would be mirroring a career like former protege Jimbo Fisher and his success at FSU...or there is the Not-so-great way - echoing the "fail-upwards" style of Will Muschamp (he's in contention for the South Carolina job. Seriously. How does he keep getting hired?) Personally I think this guy should get a shot...
NCAA -
It's often said that all good things must come to an end. And sadly, it's so frequently true. As much as I've tried to pretend it wouldn't, the 2015 College Football Season is almost at a close. Yes, with just like that the regular season has finished, and all that's left are Conference Championships, a bunch of Toilet Bowl Games and then of course the big College Playoffs for the National Championship. It's ok to cry, I'm sad too. Especially since our beloved Florida State Seminoles will NOT be playing this weekend in the ACC Championship game. But at least we ended on a very high note. Yes Rivalry week was very good to us...and not so bad for a couple other teams either. So before I get into what's next, here's a quick recap in case you weren't paying attention:
Georgia/ GA Tech - In the fight for his career and legacy, Richt's Bulldogs stepped up to the occasion and did what FSU couldn't...They beat the Nerds. It was a sleeper of a game...not in the sense that no one saw it coming, but in the fact that I dosed off in the 1st quarter. It was a very uneventful, uninspiring 13-7 Victory for the Dawgs that was much needed, but not sadly enough. Richt was fired the next day, sparking and outcry of support for the Coach, as well as a lot of confusion and rage by many - which seems odd considering since I moved to Atlanta over 8 years ago, there has been talk for firing Richt every season and now the fans are suddenly shocked and appalled.
In my opinion, both Richt and the Dawgs needed this clean break and a deserve a fresh new start. For Georgia, it looks like it will be the highly reccommended Saban protege Kirby Smart - which could go one of two ways. The great way would be mirroring a career like former protege Jimbo Fisher and his success at FSU...or there is the Not-so-great way - echoing the "fail-upwards" style of Will Muschamp (he's in contention for the South Carolina job. Seriously. How does he keep getting hired?) Personally I think this guy should get a shot...
Richt will be taking his Talents to South Beach and join the ACC as the new head coach of the Miami Hurricanes. This is both great news for the ACC, and potentially awful news for FSU. On one hand, he's a great coach that can breathe new-life into a flailing team (which hasn't played for 1 ACC Championship yet). On the other hand, he could make that team relevant and dangerous again - taking potential recruits from FSU down the road and building up one of our biggest rivals into a force to be reckoned with. Personally, I invite the challenge and look forward to the new competition!!
Clemson/ South Carolina - In a fierce battle for State supremacy, the Gamecocks gave Clemson everything they have and just barely came up short with the Tigers pulling off a late victory of 37-32. Pretty crazy, and did not see that coming. looks like there could be a trick to stopping Clemson...all you have to do is Score... Alot.
Alabama/Auburn - Really not worth mentioning except for this catch. Otherwise a boring game.
Notre Dame/Stanford - In their 2nd most important test of the season, the Fighting Irish once again fell a bit short, solidifying the argument that they were not deserving of a top 4 bid. A great and close game just like Clemson, but like my dad says - close only counts with Horseshoes and Hand grenades.. Actually as I write that I'm not sure why he says it. Pretty weird and random thing to say...Anyways, my point is - they're done. Unless the rankings some how don't reflect this as it should and they still wind up being in the top 10...but that would just be dumb.
Ohio State/ Michigan - Well I was wrong on this one. Wasn't even close. Looks like Urban isn't going to have offseason health issues after all and may still have a shot (albeit a very long one) of making it into the Playoffs..
Florida/Florida State - Well I'm not one to gloat, but I'm pretty sure that was the greatest asswhopping I've ever seen the Gators take. 27-2. Seriously...27-2...2 points...Two. And we gave those to them.
Ohio State/ Michigan - Well I was wrong on this one. Wasn't even close. Looks like Urban isn't going to have offseason health issues after all and may still have a shot (albeit a very long one) of making it into the Playoffs..
Florida/Florida State - Well I'm not one to gloat, but I'm pretty sure that was the greatest asswhopping I've ever seen the Gators take. 27-2. Seriously...27-2...2 points...Two. And we gave those to them.
Coach Jimbo Fisher (who is clearly not going anywhere, so ESPN can just shut it's filthy whore mouth) extended his winning streak to 5-1 against inter-state rivals the Florida Gators, with an UNCONQUERED record in the Swamp. In fact, in Fisher’s three games in Gainesville, FSU has outscored UF by a combined score of 85-16. Essentially he owns the Swamp.
With this win, the Seniors graduating this year have picked up their 49th win since the 2012 season, breaking a school record for wins in a four-year span that was set last season. They are now the winningest class in FSU history wiith a record or 49-5. It was a great game and so damn proud to be a Nole!!
Fun Fact: The last time that UF beat FSU in the Swamp, Jameis Winston was a sophomore......in high school.
(Did you hear that? it was the sound of the mic dropping.)
Fun Fact: The last time that UF beat FSU in the Swamp, Jameis Winston was a sophomore......in high school.
(Did you hear that? it was the sound of the mic dropping.)
ESPN is spelled T-M-Z
While we're on the subject, I guess we should go ahead and address the elephant in the room - Jimbo Fisher's job. While it was speculated by ESPN that not only was Les Miles getting fired from LSU, but that Jimbo Fisher was not only interested in replacing him as Headcoach, but as of last Saturday before their matcch against UF, EPSN reported Jimbo had already accepted the position and signed the paperwork. Well, it was bullshit. Kind of...
Reports have confirmed Jimbo Fisher was in negotiations with LSU. Which is not surprising Jimbo was Nick Saban's Offensive Coordinator/QB Coach from 2000-2006 when - during the period in which LSU won a National Championship. So the ties are there - and if someone is going to call you and offer to back a truck of money up to your doorstep, you will atleast pick up the phone. So it makes sense. But there are a few reasons this was never going to happen.
First of all, Fisher makes $5 million per year and has a buyout of $5 million at FSU. He likely would have demanded multiyear contract paying him more than $5 million per season. A new coaching staff likely would have cost the school another $5 million. The final price tag to part ways with Miles and hire Fisher was reportedly more than $30 million. And Jimbo Fisher is good - but is he $30 million good?
Second, Les Miles has friends. A LOT of Friends. Friends in the fan base that came out in droves to show their support and stand behind their coach. Then there's Former Lousisana Gov/Human Muppet Bobby Jindal that stood by Les in solidarity. Macth that with the fact that Les Miles IS a winning coach- So with that kind of support, LSU is facing huge backlash if they let their coach go.
Lastly - and most importantly - why would he go. Honestly speaking (and this isn't biased), it really makes no sense. Jimbo Fisher is the Headcoach of Florida State - a storied program with a strong history and he has complete control over every aspect of the Football program. They are the current Big Dogs in the Big Pond - Florida is a recruiting ground mecca - one of the top 3 states (California & Texas are the others). The Facts don't lie... Recent statistics show that over the last 5 recruiting classes, Florida ranks 2nd in the nation averaging 1,295 3/4/5 Star rated players - where in comparison Louisiana has averaged 333 3/4/5 Star Rated Players being recruited. Then there is the fact that while the SEC is a power-house conference, You have to get through Florida, GA, Auburn, AND Alabama on the road to a SEC Championship - not to mention a National Championship. In Contrast, FSU has a much easier path to the playoffs and it shows - in his 6th year as Head Coach, Fisher has seen unprecedented success - winning 4 Conference Division Titles, 3 ACC Championship Titles and 1 National Championship, He also has a current record of 68-13 (40-8 in Conference). On top of that he has had only 3 losses in the last 3 years. So again, why is the LSU job a better one? Fact is - it isn't.
Jimbo did talk to LSU and was right to do so. He accomplished two very important things by entering into those Negotiations.
While we're on the subject, I guess we should go ahead and address the elephant in the room - Jimbo Fisher's job. While it was speculated by ESPN that not only was Les Miles getting fired from LSU, but that Jimbo Fisher was not only interested in replacing him as Headcoach, but as of last Saturday before their matcch against UF, EPSN reported Jimbo had already accepted the position and signed the paperwork. Well, it was bullshit. Kind of...
Reports have confirmed Jimbo Fisher was in negotiations with LSU. Which is not surprising Jimbo was Nick Saban's Offensive Coordinator/QB Coach from 2000-2006 when - during the period in which LSU won a National Championship. So the ties are there - and if someone is going to call you and offer to back a truck of money up to your doorstep, you will atleast pick up the phone. So it makes sense. But there are a few reasons this was never going to happen.
First of all, Fisher makes $5 million per year and has a buyout of $5 million at FSU. He likely would have demanded multiyear contract paying him more than $5 million per season. A new coaching staff likely would have cost the school another $5 million. The final price tag to part ways with Miles and hire Fisher was reportedly more than $30 million. And Jimbo Fisher is good - but is he $30 million good?
Second, Les Miles has friends. A LOT of Friends. Friends in the fan base that came out in droves to show their support and stand behind their coach. Then there's Former Lousisana Gov/Human Muppet Bobby Jindal that stood by Les in solidarity. Macth that with the fact that Les Miles IS a winning coach- So with that kind of support, LSU is facing huge backlash if they let their coach go.
Lastly - and most importantly - why would he go. Honestly speaking (and this isn't biased), it really makes no sense. Jimbo Fisher is the Headcoach of Florida State - a storied program with a strong history and he has complete control over every aspect of the Football program. They are the current Big Dogs in the Big Pond - Florida is a recruiting ground mecca - one of the top 3 states (California & Texas are the others). The Facts don't lie... Recent statistics show that over the last 5 recruiting classes, Florida ranks 2nd in the nation averaging 1,295 3/4/5 Star rated players - where in comparison Louisiana has averaged 333 3/4/5 Star Rated Players being recruited. Then there is the fact that while the SEC is a power-house conference, You have to get through Florida, GA, Auburn, AND Alabama on the road to a SEC Championship - not to mention a National Championship. In Contrast, FSU has a much easier path to the playoffs and it shows - in his 6th year as Head Coach, Fisher has seen unprecedented success - winning 4 Conference Division Titles, 3 ACC Championship Titles and 1 National Championship, He also has a current record of 68-13 (40-8 in Conference). On top of that he has had only 3 losses in the last 3 years. So again, why is the LSU job a better one? Fact is - it isn't.
Jimbo did talk to LSU and was right to do so. He accomplished two very important things by entering into those Negotiations.
- He showed LSU that getting rid of Les Miles really isn't worth it financially or responsibly according to the fan base. Jimbo is amazing - but Les isn't a schlub either- in his 11 year tenure he has also won 3 Conference Division Titles, 2 SEC Championships, and 1 National Championship - with a current record of 111-32 (61-27 in Conference). So basically you spend $30 million to fire your winning coach and alienate your fanbase for another great coach with a similar resume?
- FSU knew before that they have a good thing, but now that point has been hammered home loud and clear. Come negotiation time, Jimbo will have NO problem gettingexcatly what he wants...becuase he is worth every penny. And Knows it.
PLAYOFF RANKINGS
So going into Championship week, the latest rankings are:
So going into Championship week, the latest rankings are:
- Clemson - Still a strong, deserving #1, but face a difficult and underrated challenger in North Carolina (ranked 10th) Win and they're in.
- Alabama - Same as above...just kidding, they play the Gators. They're in.
- Oklahoma - Nice placement and deserving of a top spot for their season, but the Pac 12 has no Conference Championship game, which could end up hurting them in the end and allowing another team that wins their conference to jump in.
- Iowa - Undefeated and looking strong...but have the unenviable task for facing off against #5 Michigan St in the Big Ten Championship Game. Whoever comes out alive should be in.
- Michigan State - See Above. They knocked out reigning champ Ohio St 2 weeks ago, can they work their magic again and sneak into the playoffs? I say yes.
- Ohio State - so close, but oh so far. Could get in still I guess if the Committee has sympathy and with a lot of luck (Alabama would have to lose)
- Stanford - Could get in if they play impressive enough in the Pac-12 Conference Championship game and garner enough votes to jump in to take Oklahoma's spot. Long shot, but possible
- Notre Dame - Lose to Stanford and only drop 2 points? Ahead of North Carolina? SMH. Makes no sense. And no chance of the Playoffs.
- FSU - Huge win against the Gators propelled us to finish the season in the top 10 - but shouldn't North Carolina (as ACC Coastal Division Champs and better record) be ahead of us? Also no chance for the Playoffs.
- North Carolina - Seriously confused about this ranking. Playing for a Conference Championship, 11-1 record, and Clemson is only favored to win by 5 pts. Don't agree with this. But still, with a good game and a lot of luck, if Hunsucker's Tarheels pull this off against Clemson, they are going to the Playoffs.
NFL -
Great weekend for the NFL...unless you're a fan of the Jaguars, Bills, Steelers, Falcons, Gronkowski, and my Fantasy Team. Yea, pretty tough week.
Starting with the Jaguars...we suck. Blew it against the Chargers and ended our season high winning streak of 2 games. Bortles made some great plays, and then a couple boneheaded moves - like when he crossed the line of scrimmage and illegally threw it in for a TD...twice, both resulting in a loss of down and turnovers.
Great weekend for the NFL...unless you're a fan of the Jaguars, Bills, Steelers, Falcons, Gronkowski, and my Fantasy Team. Yea, pretty tough week.
Starting with the Jaguars...we suck. Blew it against the Chargers and ended our season high winning streak of 2 games. Bortles made some great plays, and then a couple boneheaded moves - like when he crossed the line of scrimmage and illegally threw it in for a TD...twice, both resulting in a loss of down and turnovers.
C'mon Bortles, you're better than that. CJ, talk to your boy please. Allen Robinson did have a great game and Julius Thomas finally made himself useful and got into the endzone. Aside from that, it was just ugly, and we almost lost Allen Hurns in a horrible tackle which luckily only resulted in a concussion. Well, fun's over, back to reality and another losing season for my boys.
Speaking of Awful. Congrats to the Eagles...they have giving a new meaning to the word!! Not much to say except that I love how bad they are. Love it. How bad is it you ask? Well they got annihilated for the 2nd week in a row in historic fashion to the Detroit Lions, once again allowing their opponent to score 45 pts, finishing 45-14. (Last week they lost to the Bucs 45-17). Combined they have lost the last two games by 59 points. I wish the Jags had them on schedule this year, we'd have at least one gimmie in the bank!! Oh and my favorite part of the game? This stat:
oving on - The Falcons relied heavily on the arm and leadership of Starting Quaterback/Wet Blanket Matt Ryan and it did not end well. Minnesota beat the hell out of the local heroes 20-10. Devonta better come back ready to run all over Tampa, cause I can't take much more of this.
In other news, the 82 year old Colts' Wonder Brothers Hasselback & Viniteri pulled off a huge win against the Bucs, despite Jameis completing 20 of 36 passes for 245 yards, a touchdown and only 1 interception. Got to hand it to the Colts, they're doing amazing things without any Luck.
Speaking of Luck, the Panthers don't seem to need any either. With their demolition of the Cowboys (and what looks to be Tony Romo's last game for a year now. Poor guy) Cam Newton has lead Carolina to it's 11th win, remaining the only undefeated team in the league. Mark my words, they are Superbowl bound this year, and I think it'll be against Brady and the Boston Boys.
In other news, the 82 year old Colts' Wonder Brothers Hasselback & Viniteri pulled off a huge win against the Bucs, despite Jameis completing 20 of 36 passes for 245 yards, a touchdown and only 1 interception. Got to hand it to the Colts, they're doing amazing things without any Luck.
Speaking of Luck, the Panthers don't seem to need any either. With their demolition of the Cowboys (and what looks to be Tony Romo's last game for a year now. Poor guy) Cam Newton has lead Carolina to it's 11th win, remaining the only undefeated team in the league. Mark my words, they are Superbowl bound this year, and I think it'll be against Brady and the Boston Boys.
Perhaps the Biggest story of the week - BROCK BEAT BRADY!! Yes, in his first match up against the Future Hall of Fame-er Tom Brady, the young Osweeiler managed to do what Grampa Manning has struggled to do his whole career - take out the pretty boy. Yes, the Patriots are riddled with Injuries, and they lost Gronk in a tough to watch tackle...and the officiating was exactly Kosher...but still. The kid looked good doing it and it's really cool to watch what could be the start of a great career. Oh and Peyton might not get his job back. There's rumors he'll be placed on Injured Reserve - not only for his foot, but also for his injured ego.
Closing up, The Steelers went down in the 4th to the Seahawks (sorry Gina) with Big Ben going out with concussion symptoms...Jenn's Bills continued to underwhelm in a loss to the Chiefs, and Pete's Bengals pulled off an impressive win, destroying the Rams 31-7.
Lastly - the Browns. With Manziel benched for his antics last week, the Cleveland Steamers turned to Josh McCown to lead to way. Unfortunately that was short lived as he went down with a season ending injury against the Ravens, breaking his collarbone. But good thing they had Manziel dressed and ready to play because as soon as McCown went down, they went to the clear choice...Austin Davis? Yes, the former 3rd string turned 2nd string turned starter took control in the 2nd half, putting up quite the fight and leading the Browns to what looked to be a sure win. With the score 27-24 (Browns winning) virtually no time left on the clock, Davis got his boys within field goal range to seal the deal against the Ravens...and as we've seen many times before...this happened:
Lastly - the Browns. With Manziel benched for his antics last week, the Cleveland Steamers turned to Josh McCown to lead to way. Unfortunately that was short lived as he went down with a season ending injury against the Ravens, breaking his collarbone. But good thing they had Manziel dressed and ready to play because as soon as McCown went down, they went to the clear choice...Austin Davis? Yes, the former 3rd string turned 2nd string turned starter took control in the 2nd half, putting up quite the fight and leading the Browns to what looked to be a sure win. With the score 27-24 (Browns winning) virtually no time left on the clock, Davis got his boys within field goal range to seal the deal against the Ravens...and as we've seen many times before...this happened:
Wow. Sucks to be you Cleveland. Even with the loss of McCown for the season, the Browns still refuse to give Johnny Football a chance again this season. With his future with the Browns in question, he may end up getting traded to Dallas of all places. In the End, this about sums it all up for Cleveland this season:
Ok, I lied. 1 more NFL game to cover...Thursday night's EPIC battle between the Greenbay Packers and the Detroit Lions. This game was pretty much a stinker up until the last few minutes when - and then the greatest play of the year happened. For those responsible adults that have shit to do in the mornings, you probably did not stay up to see this mostly boring back and forth between a struggling Greenbay and a clearly motivated Detroit team. The Lions maintained control throughout much of the game, holding Eddie Lacy & Randal Cobb to incredibly underwhelming performances. Rodgers, who is by definition the poster boy of what it means to be elite in the NFL was also being contained with ease - as he has unfortunately for the last 4 games as well. It was so bad that the Lions held a 20-0 L lead midway through as most viewers turned off the TV and went to bed. But late in the 3rd Quarter, The Discount Double Checker started a rally that would breath life back into his team, coming within arms reach of victory within the last few minutes of the game. scoring 14 pts in the 3rd, and 7 points in the fourth to make it a 21-23 game with less than 15 seconds left in the game. Rodgers regained possession with 15 seconds on the clock and managed to get up to about the 50 yard line with 6 seconds left, no time outs and no chance of victory...then came the 10 yard pass to GB receiver James Jones as time expired. With no options left, Jones lateraled the ball backwards to another player, who immediately turned and threw it back about 10 yards back to Aaron Rodgers, who had no option but to run at this point in order to keep the ball alive.
Surrounded by Lions Defensive linemen, Rodgers ducked, shuffled and as he was trying to evade a tackle, he appeared to have his face-mask touched by DE Devin Taylor and the QB was thrown to the ground. Rodgers’s helmet jarred, his head turned to the right, and he was wrenched to the ground, chinstrap dislodged...No time left game over. But then out came the flags...Face-mask - Personal Foul resulting in 15 yards and one more shot at the endzone. With the ball now at the 35 yard line, Greenbay has 1 possession left with 0:00 on the clock. Rodgers snapped the ball, runs backward, evades a tackle, sprints forward to the 36 yard line and launches the ball straight into the air - floating the ol' pigskin 61 yards into the endzone into a heavily guarded group of 5 Lions defenders covering 3 Packers...a Hail Mary. Then out of nowhere, Greenbay TE Richard Rodgers runs into the endzone, launches into the air and miraculously catches and comes down with the ball. HOLY SH*T, PACKERS WIN!!!
Surrounded by Lions Defensive linemen, Rodgers ducked, shuffled and as he was trying to evade a tackle, he appeared to have his face-mask touched by DE Devin Taylor and the QB was thrown to the ground. Rodgers’s helmet jarred, his head turned to the right, and he was wrenched to the ground, chinstrap dislodged...No time left game over. But then out came the flags...Face-mask - Personal Foul resulting in 15 yards and one more shot at the endzone. With the ball now at the 35 yard line, Greenbay has 1 possession left with 0:00 on the clock. Rodgers snapped the ball, runs backward, evades a tackle, sprints forward to the 36 yard line and launches the ball straight into the air - floating the ol' pigskin 61 yards into the endzone into a heavily guarded group of 5 Lions defenders covering 3 Packers...a Hail Mary. Then out of nowhere, Greenbay TE Richard Rodgers runs into the endzone, launches into the air and miraculously catches and comes down with the ball. HOLY SH*T, PACKERS WIN!!!
It was the best finish of a game I've seen in years. Simply amazing. Looking at the replay again though, it was (in my opinion) clearly not a face-mask, but instead an Academy Award winning performance by the Future Hall of Fame QB. Maybe a horse collar (which still results in 15 yards) but not a face mask. But in the end, I really don't care. It was so incredible to watch live I'm glad it happend the way it did. God I love Football.
Fun Fact: It was Rodger's 32nd Birthday. He celebrated the way he lives...by f*cking winning.
Fun Fact: It was Rodger's 32nd Birthday. He celebrated the way he lives...by f*cking winning.
BYE BYE BLACK MAMBA
It's the end of an era...Kobe Bryant - aka Black Mamba aka the Ball Hog aka Not as good as Jordan - is officially retiring from the NBA after 20 seasons. Bryant entered the NBA at the ripe age of 17 back in 1996 - becoming the 1st guard to forego his college eligibility and enter the NBA, The Future Hall of Fame Shooting guard announced his decision in a Poem titled Dear Basketball, showcasing his literary prowess and grace while defending his legacy, desire to win, and intensity in a quite unique way. Personally, if it doesn't rhyme like a well-written Nickelback song, poetry is mostly lost on me...but apparently many people smarter than myself have deemed it a "poem" that deserves to be "read". just kidding, I don't know if anyone said that. Kobe is retiring as one of the greatest players of all time, winning five NBA Championships, and one rape case. Bryant is also a 17-time All-Star, 15-time member of the All-NBA Team, and 12-time member of the All-Defensive Team. So yeah, he was pretty good...but he was also know widely as a self-center Ball hog, that took too many shots, was horrible to work with, and ran Shaquille O'Neal out of town.
He also gave his wife a $4 Million "Apology Ring" after the alleged rape case in 2003...cause nothing says Sorry I fucked up like a big ol' Blood diamond. Regardless, he will be regarded as one of, if not the greatest players to ever grace the court. Even though Jordan was better.
It's the end of an era...Kobe Bryant - aka Black Mamba aka the Ball Hog aka Not as good as Jordan - is officially retiring from the NBA after 20 seasons. Bryant entered the NBA at the ripe age of 17 back in 1996 - becoming the 1st guard to forego his college eligibility and enter the NBA, The Future Hall of Fame Shooting guard announced his decision in a Poem titled Dear Basketball, showcasing his literary prowess and grace while defending his legacy, desire to win, and intensity in a quite unique way. Personally, if it doesn't rhyme like a well-written Nickelback song, poetry is mostly lost on me...but apparently many people smarter than myself have deemed it a "poem" that deserves to be "read". just kidding, I don't know if anyone said that. Kobe is retiring as one of the greatest players of all time, winning five NBA Championships, and one rape case. Bryant is also a 17-time All-Star, 15-time member of the All-NBA Team, and 12-time member of the All-Defensive Team. So yeah, he was pretty good...but he was also know widely as a self-center Ball hog, that took too many shots, was horrible to work with, and ran Shaquille O'Neal out of town.
He also gave his wife a $4 Million "Apology Ring" after the alleged rape case in 2003...cause nothing says Sorry I fucked up like a big ol' Blood diamond. Regardless, he will be regarded as one of, if not the greatest players to ever grace the court. Even though Jordan was better.
WORLD NEWS
Airpocalypse
The end it is near friends - and it's cause will not be ISIS or an Asteroid Bruce WIllis can't save us from. No, the nail in the coffin will be China and the impending Airpocalypse. China is now covered in a thick, lung cringing smog that is at life threateningly dangerous levels.
The pictures below were taken within a day of each other. Those are 2 diferrent pictures of THE SAME SKYLINE!!!
In Beijing, the capital of the world's most populous country and its No. 1 source of planet-warming carbon compounds, Greenpeace China called the thick haze the worst pollution of the year. "Authorities have issued an orange alert and recommended that residents stay indoors," Clean up your act China! (see what I did there?)
Mein Kampf
Filed under the list of horrible ideas of what the hell were they thinking - The Gerrman state of Bavaria is reissuing Hitler's Mein Kampf. Apparently the copyright ownership was set to expire this year, the state is prepared to lift its ban on Hitler’s infamous book as a way of ensuring that new generations can be fully aware of his anti-Semitism, militarism, and political theory. Publication has been forbidden in Germany since 1945 as well as showing it in public or displaying it prominently in a shop window. On paper it seems like a bad idea, but I'm sure in reality with the recent increase in immigration and the rise of Islam and fear surrounding those who practice the religion that this will surely be handled poorly and immediately regretted. But I'm sure they'll Nazi that coming....
Filed under the list of horrible ideas of what the hell were they thinking - The Gerrman state of Bavaria is reissuing Hitler's Mein Kampf. Apparently the copyright ownership was set to expire this year, the state is prepared to lift its ban on Hitler’s infamous book as a way of ensuring that new generations can be fully aware of his anti-Semitism, militarism, and political theory. Publication has been forbidden in Germany since 1945 as well as showing it in public or displaying it prominently in a shop window. On paper it seems like a bad idea, but I'm sure in reality with the recent increase in immigration and the rise of Islam and fear surrounding those who practice the religion that this will surely be handled poorly and immediately regretted. But I'm sure they'll Nazi that coming....
You Want Fries with that??
Clone Wars
Meat - it's not necessarily what's for dinner anymore. In more awesome China news, not sure if you've heard but they are facing a bit of an overcrowding issue. And with the growing population and the need to feed the masses, To combat this, China has decided it's best to go ahead and build a Giant Animal-Cloning factory to feed the People. Yes, while the rest of the world sorts out its feelings about the safety and ethics of cloning animals for food production, China - the world's leader in "F*ck It, we do what we want" - has decided to throw caution to their polluted wind and go ahead and eat cloned meat. Yum Yum, gimmie sum!! On the brightside, Cats and Dogs everywhere can sleep easy knowing they may no longer be the 1st choice of sandwich meat in years to come!
Clone Wars
Meat - it's not necessarily what's for dinner anymore. In more awesome China news, not sure if you've heard but they are facing a bit of an overcrowding issue. And with the growing population and the need to feed the masses, To combat this, China has decided it's best to go ahead and build a Giant Animal-Cloning factory to feed the People. Yes, while the rest of the world sorts out its feelings about the safety and ethics of cloning animals for food production, China - the world's leader in "F*ck It, we do what we want" - has decided to throw caution to their polluted wind and go ahead and eat cloned meat. Yum Yum, gimmie sum!! On the brightside, Cats and Dogs everywhere can sleep easy knowing they may no longer be the 1st choice of sandwich meat in years to come!
THE DATING GAME
Talk Nerdy to Me
Do you just love (and I mean LOVE) all things Disney but hate that pesky virginity that keeps getting in your way? Are you tired of riding the Teacups alone? Are you a Goofy just searching for your Goofette? Well search no further, Mouse Mingle is here!!! Mouse Mingle is the Dating site for fans of all things Disney. Users check boxes related to their Disney nerd level: favorite Disney characters, songs, movies, parks, princesses, heroes and more. Although it's pretty damn funny, atleast its shying away from the recent rise in Cheating websites like AshleyMadison.com and Cougarlife.com - where you can go either A) find someone just as shitty as you to cheat on your spouse with, or B) Find a lonely and horny divorce with a large wallet and lust for young man meat. Ah, dating. So glad that's over.
Talk Nerdy to Me
Do you just love (and I mean LOVE) all things Disney but hate that pesky virginity that keeps getting in your way? Are you tired of riding the Teacups alone? Are you a Goofy just searching for your Goofette? Well search no further, Mouse Mingle is here!!! Mouse Mingle is the Dating site for fans of all things Disney. Users check boxes related to their Disney nerd level: favorite Disney characters, songs, movies, parks, princesses, heroes and more. Although it's pretty damn funny, atleast its shying away from the recent rise in Cheating websites like AshleyMadison.com and Cougarlife.com - where you can go either A) find someone just as shitty as you to cheat on your spouse with, or B) Find a lonely and horny divorce with a large wallet and lust for young man meat. Ah, dating. So glad that's over.
**in case I have to explain that, Disney owns Starwars. And if you don't get the Meme, ask Dugan. She's a huge Star Wars Nerd**
Black Friday Win?
While most of the United States decided to rush to stores and fight over poorly made TVs in a giant Jerry Springer-esque Flash mob, there was one company that seemed to capitalize on the chaos and nonsense more than others. The awful yet clever people behind Cards Against Humanity - the Horrible party game for Horrible People - decided to have their own Black Friday special. Their deal? Give them $5 and get nothing in return. That way you can participate in Black Friday and not completely lose your soul.
Pretty funny. But did it work? You bet your ass it did. In the end the "Good" people at Cards Against Humanity reported that 11,248 people gave $5, and 1,199 people gave more than $5 by filling out the form more than once. One enthusiastic fan gave $100. In total, the staff of Cards Against Humanity made a staggering profit of $71,145!!!
In actuality, Cards Against Humanity is known for some very charitable fundraising - since 2012 they have raised nearly $4 million for organization like Worldbuilders, the Sunlight Foundation, the EFF,DonorsChoose.org, the Wikimedia Foundation, and the Chicago Design Museum. We even started a $500,000 full-ride scholarship for women getting degrees in science.
With that in mind you're probably wonder what the ended up doing with all the money from this latest stunt. The answer? They kept it all. Atleast for a moment. Here's a highlight of some of the items they bought:
(You can read the rest here)
In actuality, Cards Against Humanity is known for some very charitable fundraising - since 2012 they have raised nearly $4 million for organization like Worldbuilders, the Sunlight Foundation, the EFF,DonorsChoose.org, the Wikimedia Foundation, and the Chicago Design Museum. We even started a $500,000 full-ride scholarship for women getting degrees in science.
With that in mind you're probably wonder what the ended up doing with all the money from this latest stunt. The answer? They kept it all. Atleast for a moment. Here's a highlight of some of the items they bought:
- Alex bought 760lbs of Arm & Hammer Clump & Seal Multi Cat odor Sealing Cat Liter for $500 (because those cats apparently poop as much as me)
- Amy paid off 1.5% of her student loan debt, stating that she spent 100k on a BA, 60K for a MFA and 7 years of her life so that she could go write Dick Jokes for a living
- Jenn purchased a Lord of the Rings Legolas Lothlorien LongBow replica for $800, a Leather archer quiver for $139, and a Bespoke Robin Hood Costume for $1,200. ( I assume she needed the outfit and weapon to further protect her Virginity)
- Karlee purchased a YVA Vibrator in 24-Karat Gold for $3,120, Uber Lub Personal Lubricant for $280, and a donation to Planned Parenthood for $1,027.
(You can read the rest here)
THEY SEE YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING
Since it's Christmas, I think now would be a good time to work in the 1st festive story of the season. We all know about Santa - the Jolly old pervert that knows when you've been sleeping and sneaks into your house late at night to eat your baked goods, drink your dairy and leave over priced gifts that usually should come with a return receipt. But I'm not going to cover him...that's been done. I want to talk about his little Mischievous Minions that have recently taken the nation by storm over the last few years and scare your children into behaving like civilized young members of society unlike the little monsters they normally are.
Yes, I'm talking about the Elf on the Shelf. This pint size peeping toms have become a widely popular tradition in recent years becoming a household fixture in homes and the internet throughout the country every December. They're based on a 2005 book, in which elves are described as scouts that watch over people's homes and report any suppressive or subversive activity back to the North Pole. And when you read it in one simple statement, and start to think about it, that actually sounds exactly like a police state.
Atleast that's what one professor claims.
Dr. Laura Pinto, a digital technology professor of the University of Ontario Institute of Technology believes we are prepring our children to live in a Police State and become accustomed to the idea of modifying their behavior for fear that they might be watched at any moment.
She believes the Elf on a Shelf creates an Orwellian Christmas tradition, described as:
"..a capillary form of power that normalizes the voluntary surrender of privacy, teaching young people to blindly accept panoptic surveillance." Now personally, I don't know what Panoptic surveilance means, but it's a big word and sounds scary so clearly this woman knows her stuff!! You can Read the whole scary story here
So is it just harmless fun or are you blindly accepting "insert scary words here" surveillance and preparing your children to live in constant fear?? I'm sure there's no right answer...but I do know this...BE AFRAID, YOU"RE PARENTING ALL WRONG!!!!!
Since it's Christmas, I think now would be a good time to work in the 1st festive story of the season. We all know about Santa - the Jolly old pervert that knows when you've been sleeping and sneaks into your house late at night to eat your baked goods, drink your dairy and leave over priced gifts that usually should come with a return receipt. But I'm not going to cover him...that's been done. I want to talk about his little Mischievous Minions that have recently taken the nation by storm over the last few years and scare your children into behaving like civilized young members of society unlike the little monsters they normally are.
Yes, I'm talking about the Elf on the Shelf. This pint size peeping toms have become a widely popular tradition in recent years becoming a household fixture in homes and the internet throughout the country every December. They're based on a 2005 book, in which elves are described as scouts that watch over people's homes and report any suppressive or subversive activity back to the North Pole. And when you read it in one simple statement, and start to think about it, that actually sounds exactly like a police state.
Atleast that's what one professor claims.
Dr. Laura Pinto, a digital technology professor of the University of Ontario Institute of Technology believes we are prepring our children to live in a Police State and become accustomed to the idea of modifying their behavior for fear that they might be watched at any moment.
She believes the Elf on a Shelf creates an Orwellian Christmas tradition, described as:
"..a capillary form of power that normalizes the voluntary surrender of privacy, teaching young people to blindly accept panoptic surveillance." Now personally, I don't know what Panoptic surveilance means, but it's a big word and sounds scary so clearly this woman knows her stuff!! You can Read the whole scary story here
So is it just harmless fun or are you blindly accepting "insert scary words here" surveillance and preparing your children to live in constant fear?? I'm sure there's no right answer...but I do know this...BE AFRAID, YOU"RE PARENTING ALL WRONG!!!!!
WEEKEND EVENTS
As I mentioned earlier, my weekend will be spent up here in the Big Apple as a baby-sit a flock of Man-Child Beach Bums from Actionville to celebrate the end of my buddy Brien's Bachelorhood. In all honesty it has been a blast so far and I'm already compiling tons of funny stories and blackmail I'll be sure to hold over their heads for years to come. In the meantime, there is still plenty of Football left to enjoy this weekend if you are so inclined.
The Big ones include:
SEC Championship - #2 Alabama (11-1) vs #18 Florida Gators (10-2) - 4 pm EST
While we know how this is going to end (very, very badly for the Jort Nation) it is still worth watching just for the sheer enjoyment of watching the current state of the once great Power Conference. Alabama is favored to win by 18 points, and has a 78% chancce to win according to Vegas odds. My prediction: UF scores 6 point total. Either 2 field goals or one TD and a missed extra point. And Derrick Henry runs wild, leading Bama to score over 32 points. Blow out.
Fun Fact: If Florida Coach/Duggar family look alike Jim McElwain can pull a rabbit out of his ass and make enough magic Saturday to defeat Alabama some how, thhat would send the committe in to a Code Red Frenzy and you would see the very real scenarrio of a College Football Playoof with NO SEC Representation...hahaha. Go Gata!!
As I mentioned earlier, my weekend will be spent up here in the Big Apple as a baby-sit a flock of Man-Child Beach Bums from Actionville to celebrate the end of my buddy Brien's Bachelorhood. In all honesty it has been a blast so far and I'm already compiling tons of funny stories and blackmail I'll be sure to hold over their heads for years to come. In the meantime, there is still plenty of Football left to enjoy this weekend if you are so inclined.
The Big ones include:
SEC Championship - #2 Alabama (11-1) vs #18 Florida Gators (10-2) - 4 pm EST
While we know how this is going to end (very, very badly for the Jort Nation) it is still worth watching just for the sheer enjoyment of watching the current state of the once great Power Conference. Alabama is favored to win by 18 points, and has a 78% chancce to win according to Vegas odds. My prediction: UF scores 6 point total. Either 2 field goals or one TD and a missed extra point. And Derrick Henry runs wild, leading Bama to score over 32 points. Blow out.
Fun Fact: If Florida Coach/Duggar family look alike Jim McElwain can pull a rabbit out of his ass and make enough magic Saturday to defeat Alabama some how, thhat would send the committe in to a Code Red Frenzy and you would see the very real scenarrio of a College Football Playoof with NO SEC Representation...hahaha. Go Gata!!
ACC Championship - #1 Clemson Tigers (12-0) vs #10 North Carolina - 8 pm EST
This game looks to be a much better match up. While the current #1 contender for the National Title is the favorite to win, the point spread is just 5. North Carolina is not another Throw-away ACC Team. They've proven this season they're the real deal, and a legitimate threat to Clemson's perfect season. Clemson still has a 59% chance to win, but I'm going to guess this game comes down to a field goal.
Big Ten Championship - #4 Iowa (12-0) vs #5 Michigan State (11-1) - 8 pm EST
This is the one I'm looking forward to. A must Win-and-You're-In scenario for both teams. Iowa is undefeated and has remained undefeated all season, but who have they really played? This is their 1st real threat. On the other hand, there's Michigan St. A team that looks dominant one week against Oregon, flawed another in a loss against Nebraska, then persistent and powerful in great victories against rivals Michigan and the defending National Champion Ohio State Buckeyes. With a point spread of just 3.5 pts in Michigan St's favor, this will be the game of the weekend. And I would love to see Michigan St pull this off and get into the playoffs. I'm going with the Spartans on this one by a field goal.
NFL Games to Watch:
All of them. I am watching all of them. You should too. This weekend marks the End of the Regular Season for Fantasy Football and will decide who gets into the playoffs for numerous team. Every game counts and every point matters. I'll give some boasting and bashing on the results of the Fantasy Seasons next week for Our guys' league and the Ladies' league.
MEME of The WEEK
This game looks to be a much better match up. While the current #1 contender for the National Title is the favorite to win, the point spread is just 5. North Carolina is not another Throw-away ACC Team. They've proven this season they're the real deal, and a legitimate threat to Clemson's perfect season. Clemson still has a 59% chance to win, but I'm going to guess this game comes down to a field goal.
Big Ten Championship - #4 Iowa (12-0) vs #5 Michigan State (11-1) - 8 pm EST
This is the one I'm looking forward to. A must Win-and-You're-In scenario for both teams. Iowa is undefeated and has remained undefeated all season, but who have they really played? This is their 1st real threat. On the other hand, there's Michigan St. A team that looks dominant one week against Oregon, flawed another in a loss against Nebraska, then persistent and powerful in great victories against rivals Michigan and the defending National Champion Ohio State Buckeyes. With a point spread of just 3.5 pts in Michigan St's favor, this will be the game of the weekend. And I would love to see Michigan St pull this off and get into the playoffs. I'm going with the Spartans on this one by a field goal.
NFL Games to Watch:
All of them. I am watching all of them. You should too. This weekend marks the End of the Regular Season for Fantasy Football and will decide who gets into the playoffs for numerous team. Every game counts and every point matters. I'll give some boasting and bashing on the results of the Fantasy Seasons next week for Our guys' league and the Ladies' league.
MEME of The WEEK
FAME of THE WEEK
ME!!!!
While I know I dropped the ball on meeting my deadline for this week's Corner, I think it's time I gave myself a good ol' reach around and pat myself on the back....not sure why, but that felt really awkward as I typed that out...Anywhoo-
In the past few weeks I have manged to Shame my Way to the Top, giving everyone a good laugh and setting the bar pretty high for other idiots to aspire to, but this week I think I deserve a bit of credit. I have been having an absolute blast writing these for the group over the past month and 1/2, and the best part of my week is not only getting the responses but also getting the conversation going to see everyone taking shots, making jokes and having a good time. It's one of the things I love about you all and I cherish the most with this group - our ability to have fun and laugh at ourselves and keep great conversations going.
That being said, I have received a ton of positive responses, reactions and praise about this new tradition - as well as a few suggestions to take things a bit further. So I listened and got this thing online. As you noticed you have been reading this week's edition on my very own website. I have enabled the ability to sign up as a Member, create an icon/avatar, comment on the Corner, as well as create new topics and make suggestions on what you'd like to see in future editions. There's a brief About section that tells alittle bit of what to expect too. I will also be uploading previous Corners and adding them to the Archive in case you feel the need to reminisce or share with loved ones and friends that may also find humor in my nonsense.
To go along with the site, I have created a Twitter Account (@CurransCorner) I will be using to send out updates, possible mid week articles/blogs and memes - a Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/curranscorner) that will serve the same purpose, and an email address as well - shauncurran@curranscorner.com. Now I realize this isn't perfect and it is a work in progress, but this is my first foray into this sort of thing so please be patient as I learn, grow and tweak this thing over time.
In all seriousness, thank you for the continued support and enthusiasm you all have shown with this. I've been having a blast and it's all because of you all. So lucky to have you all in my life :)
SHAME of THE WEEK
Pete "The Muss-bus" Musser
Sorry my OTP amigo, your time has come and it is time for you to share in the Shame I know so well. While by most standards,Pete is the epitome of all things good in what a man should be - Loves his family, is a great husband, amazing father, scratch golfer, superb Chef, and outstanding friend. But if you look a bit close you're realize this Knight in Shining Armor has a few kinks of his own. And I'm not talking about his his poor choice in sports teams.
Apparently its widely know in the Musser neck of the Woods that this Picture-Perfect Family man is actually a terrorizing Menace behind the wheel, destroying all thing in his path...in his driveway that is. One of the Corner's deep undercover beat reporters has been able to provide evidence of Vehicular Irresponsibility and Amazon Prime Endangerment. My source has asked to remained nameless, but she told the Corner that her husband is reckless when backing out of the garage.
Apparently mild mannered Pete Musser turns into Tony Stewart when he turns his truck on, just running shit over left and right, leaving a path of destruction in his wake. Now unlike Tony Stewart, he hasn't killed anyone (yet) but he has killed a number of innocent packages and deliveries who's only crime were being placed in the wrong place at the right house.
According to reports, Delivery drivers have caught wind of this and intentionally leave packages by the garage door rather than on the front porch - almost taunting and tempting Pete to destroy the things his wife works hard to order online. It's gotten so bad that this note has been seen on his garage:
His latest victim? The custom wooden monogrammed piece Mrs Musser purchased for her sister and brother in law's housewarming. Word on the street is that this one was a doozy and almost led to an unexpected trip - straight to divorce-town USA!!! Just Kidding, but not really. haha
So Well done Pete, you have earned your spot in Curran's Corner history as one of the great names to share the Shame. SHAME!!!!
So Well done Pete, you have earned your spot in Curran's Corner history as one of the great names to share the Shame. SHAME!!!!
Well folks, that brings this weeks(late) edition to a close. I rambled on a bit longer this time so I hope you don't mind. Thanks again for letting me be a part of your weekend. I hope you enjoyed - now quit being so anti-social! Get up, get off your computer and go Savor the Day!!!
Have a great weekend, and as always - Go Noles!!!
